LESSON 3 (I started w/chapters, I dunno y my bad. ) HOW TO GET CHEATED ON
Well, I gotta say my heart always gains a few pounds when discussing this topic, simply cuz other than being a cheater in the past, I've also been the cheatee. And lemme tell ya one thing, both sides are happiest when the cheatee doesn't know (duh, I know right?). But you do know, or you think you do, fellow cheatee. Calm down, I know this hurts. But we gon get thru this, THE BEST WAY WE CAN.
Before I begin, understand this was the hardest part to write because I kept drifting into "How To Tell If You're Getting Cheated On." But that's not the title, and that's not my motive. I am not Joey Greco I feel like you'll find out you getting cheated on when you supposed to find out. I HAVE NO IDEA how to tell if you're getting cheated on, sheeeyit if I knew that, I wouldn't have gotten cheated on! Really tho, people have gone decades w/o knowing they're being deceived. People have raised families behind their mates' backs, established whole other relationships right under the nose of the one they love. And trust, people seem to get better or get worse at cheating everyday. But they never stay the same cuz you gotta switch up your style to keep something secret feel me? I'm not here to confirm your suspicions. So keep that in mind, this part is for people WHO KNOW FOR SURE THEY HAVE BEEN/ARE BEING CHEATED ON.
1. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I don't know nor do I care what your mate thinks of you and what's been going on in the relationship. Your mate chose to be with you, and STAY with you, therefore it'sshis/her obligation to accept your flaws, or bounce. If you and your mate are in an exclusive commitment where both agreed to be intimate with ONLY one another, both have to keep up the bargain. I feel a person has a right to leave, not to cheat. You've basically been ripped of your chance to invest time and emotions in a faithful person and the last thing you need to be thinking is that it's your fault. Now, if this is the 2nd time you been ceated on and you're reading this...well...it becomes partly your fault. Once you accept a cheater back in your life don't always assume, "once a cheater, always a cheater." But at the same time, don't be surprised or disappointed. Cuz you been given the best warning there is, after the first time it's an at-your-own-risk-situation.
DON'T go back into the past and start blaming yourself for all the shit you did. DON'T look at yourself as any less beautiful, handsome, or any less desired. DON'T mistaken this person as "one half of your soul" and all that bull cuz yes, you can live without her/him. Cuz this person's behavior should tell you one thing and one thing only. They wanted to be with another person. THAT'S IT. May or may not have shit to do w/you but at this point that's all you need to know. HE/SHE JUST WANTED TO BE WITH ANOTHER PERSON. Another person AND you, OR you...and sometimes WITH you lol. It ain't right, hell naw! But that's all it is. No matter what the reason that's where you need to start, mentally. If you are gonna go into the past, use the past to remind you of the mistakes you'll never make again and the good times to remind you of how great a person you really are :)
2. Just like I advised my cheaters, Imma tella you too. Decide to decide. Make up your mind. The hardest thing to do is tell your friends it's over and show up w/the mofo at the club the following week (oh some of ya'll know exactly what I'm talking bout). If you gon talk about it, be about it. Now I have a lil 3 day rule, simply cuz I spent months getting over a situation, and I feel that's just too fuckin long. Plus, 3 days is a weekend and a weekday. This breakup should not affect your job, your TRUE friendships, and your desired lifestyle (goals man, I'm talking GOALS). The 1st day of discovering you're officially a cheatee, I think, should be spent going ham. Now if you desire to not go ham I'm with that. I DON'T condone violence and serious threats against yourself or anyone else, please don't go there. But if you need to let a muhfucka know how you feelin let er rip. Apologize for what you want lata, but if you really just wanna get it out, and you KNOW YOU BEEN DOING RIGHT, gon head! That person DESERVES to hear every damn thing you got to say whether it sticks t or slides out their brains. Go home, have a good cry, don't start throwing ya shit around, lol you gon be mad lata.
Day 2, make the decision. You KNOW you been thinking bout this shit since it happened, time to say yea or nay to this one. And if you can't make a decision, decide to ask the person if THEY'RE willing to make the decision. Cuz one of ya'll have to. And the longer you wait to do this, the longer you will hurt.
Day 3, MAN UP. Tell your mate what's good, and what's not, and if they can't accept it, BOUNCE. If you don't believe him/her but the love is just that strong, hey, I ain't hatin I already know! Gone extend the program a few more days. You don't need to stress, but remember, you don't need to procrastinate either. Not to mention you'll have such insecurities you won't be able to even trust your mate. If you forgive your mate, FORGIVE YOUR MATE. If you just can't get over it, like for real for real this time? BOUNCE. TRUST ME, making up your mind and sticking to your pistols reaps benefits. Live positively and learn from your mistakes. Cuz that break up to make up shit gets old, fast.
Is the conclusion next? I dunno. Naw for real I dunno I write this stuff off top of my dome.
Coming sooner than lata tho... Lesson 4
3.SORRY, BUT YOU MAY HAVE NOT REALLY BEEN CHEATED ON.
Stay tuned...
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