Gotta give it up to Keisha Cole on this one she snapped. I love R.Kelly so this is crazy lol.
Oh btw you may wanna press pause on the music play @ the bottom of the page.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Oh, Go Fuck Yourself! (you might like it)
Ladies? All my Ladies! This one’s for you!
As a tomboy at heart I have a lot of male friends whose jokes, a lot of the time, have a penis related punchline. Nuttin gay, it’s just guys mention their dicks a lot more than they tend to notice. Like I said I’m accustomed to it, listening to jokes of the last King Magazine spread they choked the chicken to, or philosophical questions like,
“Okay, suck it, fuck it, or beat it…pick any 2 chicks and 1 HAS to be your wife/girlfriend.”
You get what I mean . Guys are pretty comfortable talkin bout their junk. Whether it’s rude or comical, it’s a fact. I have a high school friend that TO THIS DAY will answer the phone w/a greeting of, “G, I just got done beatin off. (Laughs) I almost bust on my microwave!”
After I question his solo project being done in the kitchen in the first place, he keeps going and I’m laughing till I can’t breathe. Naw, I’m not offended. We’re both adults and although it SOUNDS immature, we’re mature enough to look @ masturbation as just something to do, NOT a sexually perverted, “oooh I don’t do that” type of thing.
(I laugh) ”So now that you done beatin off you still tryna hit the club lata?” Real talk that’s how our conversations are lol.
SO LADIES, WHY CAN’T WE BE THAT OPEN?
I know it’s hella women out there who take a moment or two to give themselves pleasure, with themselves. And it’s nothing wrong w/that!
I don’t want every woman running round in the mall and at work yappin bout last night’s finger fest BUT in general, it seems women and masturbation are still taboo. A funny sitcom shows the 1st time a father finds out his son found his Playboy and isn’t just peeing in the bathroom. The movie American Pie will forever be known for the famous “warm apple pie” scene. It’s like, men get to stroke the pole whenever AND have fun w/it when ladies have to wait till midnight w/a room full of candles and 4 different mechanical objects…lemme stop.
Even when women are together, most conversations, that are sexual, are about the great sex w/a man (or woman), jokes about how “a nigga put it down” or how “it was a pussy’s waste of time.” It’s really focused on the activity with someone else, how someone else made them feel good or bad. I would LOVE to, but rarely hear a conversation where a woman calls another woman similar to the following:
“Whattup girl? What you doing?
“Nuttin just got done rubbin one out, bout to head to the store in a minute. What you on?”
Lol I know, but you see what I mean. Women, even in today’s society, are willing to go to all extremes to please themselves in almost every way but sexually. And when we do, it’s like we ain’t supposed to or sumtin. WHATTUP W/DAT? We’ll spend hours in salons and thousands on clothes but can’t take 5 or 10 minutes to gain a physical and mental release? Cmon!
This isn’t some feminist geared thinking. I simply think women would be able to handle their emotions much better if they depended on themselves FIRST for sexual satisfaction. Meaning, when you’re stressed lose that attitude and start pointing (HA!)
Sex is beautiful. I know I like it, dunno bout you. But sex is a very, VERY powerful thing and at times used as a weapon in relationships and personalities. Men and women tend to fall in love after a few good climaxes cuz once you find a good one you wanna keep it, right? But the first step to getting pleased is knowing HOW you’re pleased. So, I am a proud advocate of female masturbation.
All women’s bodies are different, unlike a dude we can’t grab a hold and get off with one repetitive motion. We have spots, sensitive areas, and different sensations that drive us nuts. As a woman, you should know those spots BEFORE anyone else. You know why? Cuz if you don’t, whoever else does will be the mofo you lookin for in the daytime w/a flashlight. And there is no worse frustration than sexual frustration.
Ladies, masturbation is WAAAAAY more than making yourself get off. It’s a way to know yourself. When you touch yourself you’re not only becoming familiar w/your body (which is important ask your doctor) but you’re enjoying it. Women have so many issues with their bodies; weight, skin, hair, face, feet, face, breasts, butt blah blah blah. If there was at least one way to take a look at ourselves and say, “hey, I’m hot!” then why not? It’s easy, it’s our bodies, it’s NATURAL, and gotdammit if you don’t wanna touch yourself why the hell should anyone else wanna? Most importantly, it simply makes you feel GOOD. It even promotes safe sex cuz , well, it’s just you!
I masturbate…A LOT. And I really don’t care how people look at me for that. Sure I could lose a few round the waste and my acne gets ridiculous but I FUCKING LOVE MYSELF. And if that means making the love come down a few times then so be it. I refuse to allow anyone else to love me better than I love myself in ANY way. And that’s what masturbation is.
So, hopefully your cheeks have lost their blush and you’re able to see why I even decided to put this out there. I hope no matter what you do, it makes YOU happy cuz that’s what’s important. Now, I’m gonna end here cuz you look like you’re ready to pet the kitty…yeah I said it!
Peace n Sweet Sweet Love lol
As a tomboy at heart I have a lot of male friends whose jokes, a lot of the time, have a penis related punchline. Nuttin gay, it’s just guys mention their dicks a lot more than they tend to notice. Like I said I’m accustomed to it, listening to jokes of the last King Magazine spread they choked the chicken to, or philosophical questions like,
“Okay, suck it, fuck it, or beat it…pick any 2 chicks and 1 HAS to be your wife/girlfriend.”
You get what I mean . Guys are pretty comfortable talkin bout their junk. Whether it’s rude or comical, it’s a fact. I have a high school friend that TO THIS DAY will answer the phone w/a greeting of, “G, I just got done beatin off. (Laughs) I almost bust on my microwave!”
After I question his solo project being done in the kitchen in the first place, he keeps going and I’m laughing till I can’t breathe. Naw, I’m not offended. We’re both adults and although it SOUNDS immature, we’re mature enough to look @ masturbation as just something to do, NOT a sexually perverted, “oooh I don’t do that” type of thing.
(I laugh) ”So now that you done beatin off you still tryna hit the club lata?” Real talk that’s how our conversations are lol.
SO LADIES, WHY CAN’T WE BE THAT OPEN?
I know it’s hella women out there who take a moment or two to give themselves pleasure, with themselves. And it’s nothing wrong w/that!
I don’t want every woman running round in the mall and at work yappin bout last night’s finger fest BUT in general, it seems women and masturbation are still taboo. A funny sitcom shows the 1st time a father finds out his son found his Playboy and isn’t just peeing in the bathroom. The movie American Pie will forever be known for the famous “warm apple pie” scene. It’s like, men get to stroke the pole whenever AND have fun w/it when ladies have to wait till midnight w/a room full of candles and 4 different mechanical objects…lemme stop.
Even when women are together, most conversations, that are sexual, are about the great sex w/a man (or woman), jokes about how “a nigga put it down” or how “it was a pussy’s waste of time.” It’s really focused on the activity with someone else, how someone else made them feel good or bad. I would LOVE to, but rarely hear a conversation where a woman calls another woman similar to the following:
“Whattup girl? What you doing?
“Nuttin just got done rubbin one out, bout to head to the store in a minute. What you on?”
Lol I know, but you see what I mean. Women, even in today’s society, are willing to go to all extremes to please themselves in almost every way but sexually. And when we do, it’s like we ain’t supposed to or sumtin. WHATTUP W/DAT? We’ll spend hours in salons and thousands on clothes but can’t take 5 or 10 minutes to gain a physical and mental release? Cmon!
This isn’t some feminist geared thinking. I simply think women would be able to handle their emotions much better if they depended on themselves FIRST for sexual satisfaction. Meaning, when you’re stressed lose that attitude and start pointing (HA!)
Sex is beautiful. I know I like it, dunno bout you. But sex is a very, VERY powerful thing and at times used as a weapon in relationships and personalities. Men and women tend to fall in love after a few good climaxes cuz once you find a good one you wanna keep it, right? But the first step to getting pleased is knowing HOW you’re pleased. So, I am a proud advocate of female masturbation.
All women’s bodies are different, unlike a dude we can’t grab a hold and get off with one repetitive motion. We have spots, sensitive areas, and different sensations that drive us nuts. As a woman, you should know those spots BEFORE anyone else. You know why? Cuz if you don’t, whoever else does will be the mofo you lookin for in the daytime w/a flashlight. And there is no worse frustration than sexual frustration.
Ladies, masturbation is WAAAAAY more than making yourself get off. It’s a way to know yourself. When you touch yourself you’re not only becoming familiar w/your body (which is important ask your doctor) but you’re enjoying it. Women have so many issues with their bodies; weight, skin, hair, face, feet, face, breasts, butt blah blah blah. If there was at least one way to take a look at ourselves and say, “hey, I’m hot!” then why not? It’s easy, it’s our bodies, it’s NATURAL, and gotdammit if you don’t wanna touch yourself why the hell should anyone else wanna? Most importantly, it simply makes you feel GOOD. It even promotes safe sex cuz , well, it’s just you!
I masturbate…A LOT. And I really don’t care how people look at me for that. Sure I could lose a few round the waste and my acne gets ridiculous but I FUCKING LOVE MYSELF. And if that means making the love come down a few times then so be it. I refuse to allow anyone else to love me better than I love myself in ANY way. And that’s what masturbation is.
So, hopefully your cheeks have lost their blush and you’re able to see why I even decided to put this out there. I hope no matter what you do, it makes YOU happy cuz that’s what’s important. Now, I’m gonna end here cuz you look like you’re ready to pet the kitty…yeah I said it!
Peace n Sweet Sweet Love lol
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
"All Jokes Aside" Comedy Show...FREE TICKETS!!
(click on flyer for a closer look)
If you want to purchase VIP / Express Entry, including PRIORITY SEATING, get your tickets for only $10 online at www.AllJokesAside.EventBrite.com Be sure to use the discount code BYRD86
Otherwise, if you do not mind waiting in line and you do not need guaranteed seating, then get your FREE TICKETS online at www.AllJokesAside.EventBrite.com and use the discount code DUB86.
I hope to see you there! Ain't nuttin like a good laugh and there's nothing better than providing a few for FREE! Luv you worms!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Her Old Ass Taught Me A Lesson lol
Today was one of my most patience-testing days of my whole life. No crazy drivers, no unexpected bills, no drama from associates...just one old lady and a department store.
My great aunt is one of the most giving, thoughtful, and determined women I've ever known. Aunt Bea is ALOT years old and she's been through alot, therefore she demands certain things to be exactly how she wants it. Unfortunately, these types of demands may not be met at places like Walmart, or Office Max.
When she called me to take her shopping for a computer chair, I figured this would be simple. I know exactly where to find one and she's already called 15 stores Chicagoland-wide, narrowing it down to 2. Unfortunately I didn't pay attention to her demands about the chair she was looking for; she wanted a chair with 4 legs, not 5.
If you have an office/computer chair, look down at the legs attached to the wheels. How many are there? Most likely 5 right? Now why should you care? Cuz that fact alone cause me 2 painful hours in Walmart. My aunt had this crazy idea that the chairs with only legs (which aren't manufactured anymore because there's simply not enough support. Americans are a lil more thicker these days). She also wanted a ceiling fan but declined their whole inventory because they weren't assembled on display.
She made an employee follow her through the whole store, take down displays she wasn't allowed to, and reprimanded her for not having the leg chair she called about the day before. We found nothing, went to Office Max, same experience but only an hour spent. THEN she mentioned she wanted to go elsewhere to find the ceiling fan...Lowe's. I dunno what happened I just walked miles round the store.
Make a loooooong story short I drove to bout 4 different stores just for her to come back with fabric dye and ONE ink cartridge for her printer. Sigh. The last "nice" day of the month and I'm stuck in this shit.
Before I went to pull out my locks I remembered, these are things that are important. She's old, she's demanding, but there was a time where she couldn't pick and choose what she wanted, she had to settle. And now that she's older, she can focus on all the little things that will make her happy. Here I am begging her to just pick a chair, just buy a fan don't trip! But naw, she refused, and I had to respect that. We can't get what we want all the time, but when we don't it should be motivation to get it next time. What's important to one person may not be to another but the passion is the same.
My point is, if you still feel my aunt's a little nutty, I understand. I question her nitpickin sometimes too.But if you don't get the principle, you may need to start demanding some things of your own. Matter of fact, fuck what I said before,
YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, ALL THE TIME. IT'S UP TO YOU ON HOW TO GET IT...
Hope my lil story was some motivation. Stand tall in your beliefs and desires, they're a part of you and you're BEAUTIFUL! Take care worms, and thanx again for readin.
pEaCe
My great aunt is one of the most giving, thoughtful, and determined women I've ever known. Aunt Bea is ALOT years old and she's been through alot, therefore she demands certain things to be exactly how she wants it. Unfortunately, these types of demands may not be met at places like Walmart, or Office Max.
When she called me to take her shopping for a computer chair, I figured this would be simple. I know exactly where to find one and she's already called 15 stores Chicagoland-wide, narrowing it down to 2. Unfortunately I didn't pay attention to her demands about the chair she was looking for; she wanted a chair with 4 legs, not 5.
If you have an office/computer chair, look down at the legs attached to the wheels. How many are there? Most likely 5 right? Now why should you care? Cuz that fact alone cause me 2 painful hours in Walmart. My aunt had this crazy idea that the chairs with only legs (which aren't manufactured anymore because there's simply not enough support. Americans are a lil more thicker these days). She also wanted a ceiling fan but declined their whole inventory because they weren't assembled on display.
She made an employee follow her through the whole store, take down displays she wasn't allowed to, and reprimanded her for not having the leg chair she called about the day before. We found nothing, went to Office Max, same experience but only an hour spent. THEN she mentioned she wanted to go elsewhere to find the ceiling fan...Lowe's. I dunno what happened I just walked miles round the store.
Make a loooooong story short I drove to bout 4 different stores just for her to come back with fabric dye and ONE ink cartridge for her printer. Sigh. The last "nice" day of the month and I'm stuck in this shit.
Before I went to pull out my locks I remembered, these are things that are important. She's old, she's demanding, but there was a time where she couldn't pick and choose what she wanted, she had to settle. And now that she's older, she can focus on all the little things that will make her happy. Here I am begging her to just pick a chair, just buy a fan don't trip! But naw, she refused, and I had to respect that. We can't get what we want all the time, but when we don't it should be motivation to get it next time. What's important to one person may not be to another but the passion is the same.
My point is, if you still feel my aunt's a little nutty, I understand. I question her nitpickin sometimes too.But if you don't get the principle, you may need to start demanding some things of your own. Matter of fact, fuck what I said before,
YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, ALL THE TIME. IT'S UP TO YOU ON HOW TO GET IT...
Hope my lil story was some motivation. Stand tall in your beliefs and desires, they're a part of you and you're BEAUTIFUL! Take care worms, and thanx again for readin.
pEaCe
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