My MOM's 5 Reasons Why You Should NOT Have Anal Sex

Close your mouth, it's hanging open a lil.
Lol I know I know, WTF right? Look my mom and I discuss everything openly and candidly. So NO, my family does not sit around and talk about butt sex all day. Some of us definitely joke about it though lol.
Anyway, my mom and I were discussing a lil bit of everything, from Tiger Woods hoe issues to the new season of America's Next Top Model to (all of a sudden) why would a woman enjoy anal sex? She said she understands gay men cuz duh, there's no where else to put it. But
Lol she said she was watching some show on MTV or whatever and some girls were joking about how guys like anal. She's a true joker so she had me DYING laughing when she made me promise to never have anal sex. Moms always make you promise not to do some shit (no pun intended) you weren't gonna do anyway.
So from our discussion I was able to draw 5 reasons NOT to have anal sex.


1.It can rip your asshole!
2.It can fuck w/ur digestive activity and cause stomach problems
3.Doesn't that shit hurt?
4.(and I MUST quote) "He might be pushing something back up there that's trying to get out!"
5.That's just not what the asshole is made for. And doesn't that shit hurt?


Lol like I said these are HER reasons. She's not a medical professional or anything so if you like to get down like that more power to ya. And more lube to ya too!


To be honest, I wanted this article to be symbolic in a couple ways. I wanted to talk about the best asshole I ever met, my mother. Lol take it how you want, but she's a true asshole, hell both my parents are.
But she's a different type. She's a reliable, honest, open minded, educated, and experienced asshole. She raised one, so I know one when I see one. She always speaks her mind with very little regard for emotions. She handles business and never lets business handle her. She made sure that no one in the world knows everything she knows except her only child, ME. That, my faithful wurms, is my definition of the perfect asshole. AND if anyone knows my mother they know I say that with love and all my heart.
I also wanted to emphasize that in this day and age it's important to be on some decent communication level w/ur parents. Things are different these days, we all know that. The fabric of the strong family is often unraveled. Nevertheless, as adults we need to not only stay connected to our parents but be an example to our youth so they too can feel comfortable about opening up. It's too much going on to have closed mouths.
And sure, we don't get to choose our parents, so do what you can. Sometimes the only connection some have to their parents is memories. Let's change the cycle.


Hope you enjoyed reading, if not, then you too are a true asshole.
Peace